Washing Feet

The other day we were at the beach on vacation. As we walked back into the house I set up a bowl full of water to wash off our feet so we wouldn't get sand in the house. My 4 yr old daughter looked up at me and said “Daddy can you wash my feet.” Naturally I bent down on my knees and took her little foot in my hand and washed all the sand off. It wasn't easy. I mean the big hunks that had clumped together, you know the easy to see stuff it came off no problem but as I kept washing and washing more sand appeared as if out of no where between the toes and under the nails. All the fun and somewhat gross places but my daughter just continued to look at me with this big smile on her face. Now my daughter has a few different smiles. There is the HA HA you don’t know what I did or am going to do smile. There is the uncontrollable joy smile and there is this smile the smile that is reserved for my wife and I the one that is usually followed by the very words she said to me after we finished. “I love you Daddy, Thank you.”  So as I sit here reading John 13 and I imagine Jesus himself getting down on his hands and knees and washing the disciples feet. And then I think of how he got up and hung on a cross for me this man with obvious sin as well as all the hidden and nasty stuff that has existed in my life and this man this God died just so that I can be cleansed of all that. Wow what an amazing gift first to receive it and then to be able to sit there and look into her eyes and say “I love you too Baby.”

To all the new or soon to be parents out there

To all the new or soon to be parents out there I just wanted to tell you a few things. These are the things that we usually don’t tell you, that don’t show up in books on raising children and in all honesty are the things that we who have children take pleasure in hearing about because it makes us realize that it’s now your turn.

1.       When changing a diaper (especially if you’re not used to it) go in with wipes in hand, not only to take care of that special orange, yellow, brown, or when play do is involved Fluorescent gift your child has for you but also it can be used as a shield or catching mitt for whatever may still fly in your general direction.

2.       Potty, owie, tinkle, bum, PeePee will become part of your vocabulary, Get used to it you are a parent now and therefore you are not cool. You may try to maintain your cool factor for awhile but trust me if you’re doing it right you are NOT COOL.

3.       Old Yogurt containers make great barf buckets. Not the little ones but the ones like these. And yes these are ½ full in this picture. Do not use margarine containers the back spray is horrible.

 4.       When going on long trips or even short trips actually, it doesn’t Matter how soon before you left that the kids went to the bathroom. Within 15 minutes they will have to pee again and when potty training they will have to go every 5 minutes or so. For those of you who think you’ll just stop and have them go on the side of the road remember that they don’t necessarily get it yet and will pee all over their clothes, pee directly in to the wind and fall over while squatting and if you are holding them be prepared to get hit as well. But remember you’re not cool anymore so you don’t really care.  Here is a tool we use to help us on long trips. Insert one bounce sheet a garbage bag and some paper towel to absorb and prevent splash back and you’ve got an instapotty.

5.       Always carry extra clothes with you. Not just for them but for yourself and your husband’s ladies because guaranteed we will forget and guaranteed your child will puke, pee, and yes even rub various food items animal by-products , toilet water, cat food, and various other items on your clothes and in your hair so be prepared.

6.       Many children are artistic, some so much so that they use whatever elements they can to decorate walls, cribs, furniture etc. Magic erasers and cleaning wipes are great for this. Every once in awhile these budding Picassos also use human elements to paint with. If you are as blessed as we were to have one of these lil prodigies you can take footless full body PJ’s with a zipper no buttons and put them on backwards. They can’t reach the back and it works wonders. If people look at you funny just say “Kris Kross Will make Ya,” and all will be forgiven.

7.       Wet wipes are you’re new best friend keep them in the bathroom, in the car, in your purse, even in your office. You will wonder how you made it through life without them. Just a warning though, If you find yourself wiping a Coworkers face with a wet wipe don’t worry it’s just a natural reaction, though they may deck you it’s ok remember YOU ARE NOT COOL ANYMORE.  

8.       Gentlemen this one is for you. Your wife has the hardest job in the world which is twofold, first she is raising a child and secondly she has a parent in training to worry about which is you. As much as we argue or try to make things more efficient at the end of the day she wins. That whole pushing the babies out of you know where trumps any parenting advice books or engineering skills we may try to enlist. Oh yeah and she is Cool, beautiful, intelligent etc.

9.       LOVE YOUR SPOUSE. Make time for each other, keep short accounts, serve one another and be there for one another. Our kids will learn more from watching us care for each other than by anything else we do. This is easy to say but with the fast pace of life today and with all the other distractions this is probably the hardest thing to be consistent about. I myself am still working on doing this myself. It’s easy to say the words and feel the feelings but implementation is key.

10.   Remember whose child this is. Its God’s gift to you so act accordingly. You may not be the most organized parent, be able to afford the best toys or the coolest new baby innovations. Your baby may not be the best looking or smartest baby. You may have a high needs child that screams all night or has medical issues that you don’t understand or can’t afford to handle. But you can love your child with all your heart and can be there for them no matter what. You’ll find yourself one day sitting there covered in puke with snot on your shoulder and this stinky little human clinging to you because they just feel rotten and you are the only one that can embrace them and with a simple kiss make them feel all better. And that is one of God’s greatest gifts to us. To let us know what it’s like to love someone so much that we’d even lay down our life for them if we had to.

Matthew 5:1-12

Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, ² and he began to teach them.

The Beatitudes

He said:

³ “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
⁴ Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
⁵ Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
⁶ Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
⁷ Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
⁸ Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

¹¹ “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. ¹² Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

I’m working through this passage in preparation for church on Sunday. This section of scripture has meant so much to me in my life and continues to challenge me as I go through every day.  I imagine Christ walking up a hillside quietly as people started to kind of drift off and go back to their homes or to set up camp but those closest to him just keep walking following in his very footsteps. Till all of a sudden he turns around and sits down. The words that would come out of his mouth, being reflections of the very way in which he had and would continue to live his life. How amazing would it have been to be there. No iPhone going off no meetings to get too, no busyness engulfing me, simply being able to sit at the feet of God and listen to what he had to say for each and every one of our lives. Would I just sit there and take it all in? Would I ask him all the questions I’ve always had? What would I say after I came down from that mountaintop? Would it change me?

I guess that’s the challenge we still face today. We as believers profess to know a God and to have given our lives over to him. We can each identify the struggles in our own lives and usually even better at noticing the spec in our brother’s eye. Does knowing the true and living God who by his grace and his grace alone saved us from ourselves change anything? Does that change how we are living our lives? Do we take the time to sit at his feet and to take in his very presence through the word or through prayer or through communion with him and with each other, or are we just too busy?  For me this is not necessarily a revelation but rather a gut check. How much of my time does God get? Or do I just go along with my plan bringing him along for the ride. To put it another way, when am I going to realize that Christ is still the main character in THE story and that’s who the focus should be on?  I’ll continue to prep for Sunday praying and diving into his word. My biggest hope and prayer being that may His word be spoken, may His will be done, and may I not get in the way.

Who's story is it?

I’ve been working in ministry for 7 years now in the local church and one resounding theme keeps coming up. What is the right decision, or what should I do? To be honest I rarely answer this question unless they are about to do something completely stupid then I may give my humble opinion, usually in the nicest way possible. (Ok maybe not so nice.) But for the majority of people I just start walking with them through their decision making process. What has brought you to this point?  Why do you have to make this decision? What are the underlying questions? What are your fears? Give me the pros and cons. Etc...  Then we eventually get to this question; note they are usually the ones to bring it up. What do you think God would want me to do?   Wow that’s a heavy one.  Does God want to be involved in every decision we make, is there always a God vs. World answer to every question. If I chose wrong am I out of step with God’s plan for my life?  Here is my answer to those questions.  God absolutely cares about you and the decisions you make, He will utilize you no matter what decisions you make to bring him glory, you just have to be ok with the fact that you’re greatest failing is most likely his biggest use for you in ministry.
 I think all too often we get so focused on our lives that we tend to forget whose story is the focus.  This includes me.  I am convinced that the biggest idol in my life is myself. Pride is such a nasty thing. We get so focused on our own lives and rights and feelings that we are often blinded to the world around us. This is reinforced over and over by a world that calls us to focus on self and on our own identity, often our faith and beliefs become just another item in the about section of our FB page.  But God has called us to be so much more. He wants to be the star in the movie of our life, but are we ok with just being a sub character or even Cop in donut shop #3 in the credits of his story.  As we are making decisions in life what would happen if we took a minute to just go and see what God has for us. For me it boils down to one passage for my life taken from the book of Matthew 28:18-20; “18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19  Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
To be honest this is not always a popular life choice. I try and follow this and really never know if I’ve got it all right. It’s kind of like if I were an actor and was given one scene to play but had to wait 60 years to see what the final outcome was. I’ve been promised a glorious ending and that it’ll be beyond my wildest dreams. I’ve even been told who the main character is but the rest the rest is not for me to know. At least not right now.
So what do we do with this how can we stop focusing on what God will do in our story and start focusing on His story. Well the concept is actually pretty simple. We follow him, we take the things that get in between us and him and we cast them aside. Most importantly we don’t do this alone. God has given us people in our lives that we can trust and be open with that we can lay these idols before them and they will help us with the backing of God to stomp those idols out and to regain focus on what’s truly important. As the verse says we are to make disciples not converts.  Each one of us needs to let go of the secrets that control us and to start walking a path towards God that not only is free from the guilt and shame that blinds us but open to seeing the beauty and wonders that surround us. To stop focusing on the sin itself and start focusing on the person behind the sin.  To be able to trust and open up and to be held in accountability with other believers. This doesn’t mean sharing your junk with everyone but rather the select few. Those who will approach you with God’s grace as well as challenge you for the future. That we may start putting God first in our lives fully understanding the sacrifice that comes with that. When we can start doing this I believe we will find that our decision making process may not change but that our list of priorities and the focus of those decisions will. I for one am going to give it a try. It’s difficult but I guess we’ll find out how it went at the end of the movie.

Thank you letter to Mom, from us.

Thank you Mom....

For getting up to feed me, when all you wanted to do was get that 30 minutes of sleep.

For changing my diapers as you ducked and weaved to avoid my.....Well you know.

For being the one I run to whenever I fall down

For putting on the band aids. You know the Dora the explorer, Scooby doo, power ranger ones on that owee that is actually the closest freckle to where I pointed. Oh does it feel better now.

For making my meals even though I sometimes, I mean often complained.

For doing my braids (remember when Dad tried to do my braids?)Oh thank you so much for doing my hair.

For talking to me whenever my feelings got hurt.

For loving me even when I was being cruel to you.

For taking me to the movies even when you’d rather see something else.

For family vacations, we all know you’re the one that actually held those together.

For teaching us to love one another and to settle our fights.

On a side note sorry for hitting my brother when you turned around.

Mom Thank you for sitting by my hospital bed as the doctors told us what was wrong.

For the countless hours you held me as I cried in your arms.

For being there when she left me and I didn’t know what to do.

For answering all my questions as my own children started to grow.

For putting your dreams aside so I could achieve my own.

For keeping our house so I had a place to call home.

For being strong when he left and taking on both roles.

For staying through thick and thin and showing us how it can be done.

For extending me grace when my addictions got out of hand.

For introducing me to Jesus and praying with me, taking me by the hand.

For that one time... You know which one I mean, it’s our moment that I will never forget.

But Mom most of all I want to thank you.......

For being patient

For being kind

For not being boastful or proud or rude

For not demanding your way

For not being irritable

For not keeping records of my wrongs

For not reveling in the injustices we faced but always looking to the truth.

For not giving up, or losing faith

But being hopeful and enduring all circumstances

You’ve taught me about truth, hope, and love.

The greatest of these being LOVE.

It’s My Story!

Currently my wife and I are in the middle of Adopting another child and have been faced with the challenge of keeping his story his. You see he is an infant obviously can’t talk and is honestly one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. But because he is up for adoption and I am kind of an open guy people keep asking me about his background, his medical stuff and various other things that nobody would dare ask an adult unless we had a deep and close relationship with them. The truth is it’s his story and it’s not mine to tell.

What I can tell you about is parts of my adoption story. You see I was adopted when I was three days old to an awesome family in Kirkland Washington. My Birthmother (whom I now consider one of my best friends) was a young girl who just wasn’t ready for what I had in store and so she put me up for adoption, but anything surrounding that is her story. My parents were open about the fact that I was adopted and we constantly talked about what that meant and how much they loved me and that in their eyes my brother, their biological son and I were the same in their eyes. I know this to be true to this day and feel closer to my parents now than I ever have (they are some of my other best friends.) Now here comes the hard part. When you are adopted, no matter how good or bad the system is you tend to feel a disconnect from your own story. Many of us as children imagine our futures and whether will be an astronaut or a police man or in my daughters case a fairy princess with a light sabre. But those of us who are adopted also imagine our past. For me I imagined the worst possible scenario in my head. That my birthparents had turned to drugs and alcohol and were in prison and had made all the wrong choices in life and therefore no matter what I found if I ever met them, I would not be disappointed. I struggled through elementary school and even in to high school trying to figure out who I was. You see the other part of my mind would struggle with the fact that though my parents loved me they didn’t look like me. All my friends looked like their brothers and sisters or their Moms and Dads. Little similarities that many of them never noticed but I sure did. I would sit at their dinner tables looking around and noticing the hand gestures and facial expressions that had been handed down from generation to generation not just through environment but through those shared genes. This was hard for me. I started to try and mimic my parent’s actions and then started copying others making up in my head again what I thought to be mine. Then as I entered in to adulthood and married the most amazing woman this world has ever seen God gave me a gift. His name is Nathaniel. For the first time someone looked like me. He moved his hands like me and to this day I can see bits and pieces of myself in him. And then came Manny and then Charlie, and then Alex. If you ever ask me who they look like I’ll say me. Truth is most of them take after their mom, those Mennonite genes are strong suckers. And then came my buddy Hayden. We adopted Hayden and he came into our home 3 and a half years ago and changed our lives forever. The funniest part is that everyone says he looks the most like me. Hayden for me is a constant reminder of all the amazing kids out there who have their own story and are just looking for a family to share it with. You see I was not an easy kid to raise. I took out my emotions and my struggles on many people especially my parents. But they were there to love and support me no matter what. I hope that I can be as good a parent to all my kids. You see whether they are adopted or not my job as a parent is to help my kids to be able to find, live, and articulate their story. Not to the whole world but to those they will love and those they will parent in the future. We all have a story uniquely given to us by God and in my experience he takes those stories and puts people in our lives who have similar stories. They may be older or younger but they are either experiencing what we will experience or what we already have and the blessing is that we can walk through life together as our stories intertwine with one another ultimately creating HIS story. So if you ask me about my kids and their lives and struggles and triumphs and I reply that’s their story, don’t take it as an insult just know that I’m a proud Dad that loves his family and will protect them with every ounce of my being till the day God decides to take me home.

The MAN card?

We all have different ideas of what qualities it takes to earn your MAN card. Yeah I went there. The infamous MAN card. I have had this card taken away from me so many times that I’m starting to wonder when things are going to fall off and other stuff grow in their place. Here are a 10 of the latest reasons why someone has taken my MAN card away.

1. I cannot help but cry whenever I watch Extreme Makeover Home edition.

2. I confess I’d rather go to the Opera than my wife.

3. I work out to Aerobics videos with my wife.

4. When my daughter got a Barbie playhouse for Christmas I played Barbie’s with her for over an hour.

5. I like many a chick flick; Romantic comedies are actually pretty good.

6. I actually like clothes and fashion. (They just don’t make most of the good stuff in XXL, US XXL)

7. I occasionally read People.

8. I sing higher than most girls

9. When my daughter asked me too I watched the Justin Bieber Documentary and actually liked it.

10. I will choose my wife over my bros any day of the week.

First off let me apologize to any guy whose MAN card privileges I have revoked in the past. The MAN card is by all accounts stupid. What makes a man a man is not the sports that he plays, or most likely used to play back in the day when he was the next__________ ! It’s not how hot his girlfriend/wife/conquests are; besides my wife is hotter than all of those anyways. It’s not even how much money he makes, thank goodness for this one or I’d be hosed. A man is defined by how he serves others. First his God, second his spouse (whether or not he’s found her yet) then his kids and finally those that God puts in his way. Now get this straight I fail constantly at all of these. You see being a Man is stinking hard. I want to serve me first. I would love it if everyone just did what I wanted and I had complete control over every situation. But sorry Cory that’s not how it works. Back in my first year of college I had to take a freshman lit class. We all had to take them and by the time I actually got around to signing up (yeah some things never change) there was only one class left. Feminism in Literature. I showed up to the first class and needless to say I was the only guy there and realized quite rapidly that I probably wasn’t going to be meeting any love interests in this class. For six months I benefited from every negative experience, feeling, and hatred that each of the girls in the class along with the Professor felt or had felt due to the male half of our species. Then came time for the final paper. After pulling my thumb from my mouth and escaping the fetal position I decided I would write a paper on what it is to be a man. Brilliant, I know, but as I researched and read all these books by many an expert I finally was hit by a few passages in the Bible that have stuck with me to this day. So here in summary are 5 points that I learned.

1. Love God and submit to his authority on your life.

Matthew 22:36-38 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment.

2. Love your wife holding her in esteem and supporting her and presenting her as beautiful inside and out.

Eph 5:25-3325 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

3. Serve others

Matthew 22:39-40 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

4. I cannot do it on my own.

Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

5. I will fail and when I do I need to own it and seek forgiveness for it.

John 21:15-19 15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. 18 Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” 19 Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”

This is by no means and I’m not even implying that I have it all together but as I sit here today writing this I realize that though I have a long way to go to. I cannot say that I am alone. I have an amazing God who has blessed me with an awesome wife and wonderful kids who all through my many failings have extended grace love and forgiveness to me and so I will stick my MAN card back in my Wallet puff out my chest and proudly profess that I am a MAN.